I laughed a lot as a kid. Most of my high school years were marked by a wicked sense of humor. Whenever I sensed someone’s sacred cow, I found ways to poke fun at it. My irreverence often got me in trouble, though I was always mocking people’s seriousness, not the people themselves. My dad is one of the most serious people I know. He speaks with the same gravitas about his sinfulness as he does about his disdain for onions. While this felt odd to me growing up, it was the model I had. To be an adult meant to be serious.

As a child, my spiritual life was a playful, joyful, humorous, creative existence. Some spiritual traditions and certain neuroscientists speak of three developmental cycles humans experience. From ages 0-7, spiritual programming takes place because this is when we are most subconsciously open. Then, from 8-14, emotional programming takes over. Finally, from 15-21, intellectual programming completes the process. This means that by age 21, we are set in our ways. By 21, I had learned that to navigate adulthood successfully I had to be serious.

Is there anything more maddeningly annoying than religiously earnest people? That was me. And boy, am I living proof of the law of attraction. For most of my adult life, I have been in relationships with very earnest people. Leslie was not earnest in the ways I was, which was both annoying and very helpful!

In my 30s, I fell in love with Monty Python. They found their way into my heart. Nothing was sacred to these guys except for humanity itself. Their complete irreverence and mockery of Christianity and the Church felt beyond liberating to me. As I began to spiritually heal after leaving religion, this opened the door for sexual healing. Then it was as if the universe dropped Sarah Silverman at my doorstep just when I needed her most. In the same way Monty Python paid no reverence to religion, Sarah paid no reverence to the Judeo-Christian sexual etiquette. I found myself drawn to her sketches. I would squirm in my discomfort before finally settling into a pre-conditioned sexual state. I began to get comfortable with my body again.

The more I become aware of my awareness, the more I see the absurdity and humor in most of what I think and stress over. These days I am smiling and laughing a lot over Chris. This is good news. Love and creativity don’t flow very easily with a clenched tailpipe, you know? There is a reason religion goes straight for the jugular when it comes to spirituality and sexuality. Squelch both of these in humans, and there goes their creativity. Without creativity, there is no change, and power systems and their institutions can reign freely without much interference. Religious leaders and dictatorial politicians loathe humor because it's where they can sense the end of their rule.

I want life to lead the way. If Chris leads, he earnestly tries to attack perceived problems with serious force. So when I feel that tendency returning, I laugh, and life begins to lead the way again. On more challenging days, I dance to get things moving. I never danced in my life until a few years ago. It took several powerful medicine journeys to unlock this in me. If you’ve seen the way I dance, it’s pretty funny. I think it’s downright hilarious. I dance to Dua Lipa, Taylor Swift, and Tame Impala like I’m in the 80’s dancing to Erasure, the Pet Shop Boys, and The Cure. LOL!

(Chris + movement) + music = comedy. This is my equation to playfully and joyfully combat earnestness, the most boring and dangerous habit on the planet.