Why We Create

I’m a sucker for book titles like What are People For by Wendell Berry, What is Art by Leo Tolstoy, or What Art Does by Brian Eno & Bette Adriaanese. There is an implied why behind all of these whats. And why is the most exciting word for someone who can never turn off their philosophical mind. I was THAT kid… but why?, but why?, but why?

I'm still that kid. I’ve never stopped being that kid. That kid got into all kinds of trouble with authoritarians who were scared of my power to question their knowledge and authority.

And all of the why questions feel more relevant to me now than ever before in this brave new world we‘re navigating. The most recent why question I‘ve been contemplating is this: “Why do we create?” Here's my crack at answering this question.

We create because it brings us joy and pleasure

Connection through relationship gives me the deepest pleasure, hands down, but a very close second is sitting down with my MacBook Pro and a blank screen in Ulysses, my beloved writing app that feels, looks, and functions like a typewriter with spellcheck. It is a rare day when I wake up without the desire to fill an empty page.

I remember that feeling when I was a kid during the summer. Waking up each day and wondering, “How will I play today? What exciting adventures will I go on today with my banana seat, blue-chrome, Schwinn bike?” Growing up in a sleepy suburb of southern California offered me the perfect weather and terrain for making the best of the natural world, but I often didn’t even need it. I created whole worlds in my bedroom with no high-tech gadgets to hinder my imagination. The only low-tech, electronic device I had in my room was a cheap record player, with virtually no bass, that I received as a gift on my seventh birthday. I’m certain I wore the grooves out of my dad’s old 45’s from the 60’s. He wasn’t all that into rock music but he bought every Beatles and Beach Boys record he could afford when he was in high school and I was the proud heir of those incredible melodies and harmonies that became the soundtrack to my inner and outer adventures. Now I write to all kinds of music, depending on my mood and what I’m writing about. Writing allows me to capture that same magic, that same pleasure as when I was a kid. This is, without a doubt, the main reason I write. That kid in me wants to express himself and relay all of the adventures he goes on inside his mind. I have Neptune and Asteroid Lilith in Sagittarius in my 9th house, after all. I'll let you look it up.

We create to ensure the survival of our species

Calling the combined acts of having sex and giving birth “reproduction” not only feels cold to me but also a half-truth. Yes, we reproduce humans for the survival of our species and also to solve two very intertwined, human needs: loving someone unconditionally and being loved unconditionally. But every single human being is also unique. We are not mere reproductions. We are also human creations, the essence of which is captured just a bit more eloquently with the term pro-creation. I think we (mostly males) take for granted that having sex and giving birth is one of the most creative endeavors possible. Fully appreciating and accepting the creation of human life requires conscious awareness of our intention behind it, the consequence involved (being a parent involves both extreme joy and severe suffering), and what an enormous responsibility and privilege it is to care for another human being in such a profound way. My wife and I were fortunate to have co-created and sustained three wonderful human beings. I went into the whole thing, as young fathers often do, with a tremendous amount of blind love. This allowed me to experience so much joy during unspeakably dark days. Our daughters, who are now in their late 20’s and early 30’s with partners and children of their own, will always be our best creative work.

We create to solve interesting and existential problems

I will endlessly be fascinated by how humans create just as many problems with their creations as they solve. This seems to be baked into our DNA. We create beautiful things and we create monstrous things. Sometimes we create beautiful things that become monstrous things, and vice versa. Nothing lasts forever. So we continue creatively solving problems that eventually (often sooner rather than later) create new problems to be solved. We can’t help it. It’s just who we are. As if the natural world didn't give us enough problems already, we've created so many of our own that it feels like we may never solve them all in time. Problem solving doesn't feel like much of an interesting and joyful experience when human life and planetary life are what’s at stake.

We create to make sense of our experiences

It took me over 50 years to come to the conclusion that there is no inherent meaning in my life or in life itself. Religious conditioning played a huge role in this because I was taught to equate value with meaning. Now I find all life to be absolutely precious because I believe life itself has intrinsic value. Meaning, however, is created by us, not bestowed upon us from on high. So while I have very little control over what happens to me in my life, I do have agency when it comes to the meaning I ascribe to my experiences and overall existence. My guess is that this is probably the greatest creative act we can do with our lives… give it meaning. The reason I suspect this is because personal meaning has been the most challenging thing for me to change and sustain when beliefs became old and outdated. Many of those beliefs were handed down to me and were never mine to begin with. This made parting with them all the more difficult because they were tribal in nature (familial and societal). It’s quite easy to play the victim. It’s even easier and more understandable when one succumbs to actual victimhood, in a terribly violent world most often caused by humans. I know this experientially in my own life and when I helped clients as a hypnotherapist. To creatively claw one’s way out of perceived or real tragedy, either through comedy or drama, could almost be the definition of the ultimate form of creativity. Some difficult moments require a creative reframe. Some entire lives require a brave new script. Either way, I think humans are amazingly courageous and creative in this regard.

We create to uncover hidden gifts and talents

Life is hard. Humans make it harder. We fight nature. We are nature. So we fight ourselves. Is this not madness? Every once in a while I get deluded into thinking I’ve got a clear handle on why this is. Most days I’m painfully aware that your guess is as good as mine as to how and why we do this to ourselves. The devoutly religious are certain they’ve figured it out with their imagining of a devil, demons, and the concept of sin. The devoutly scientific (whether the biological, chemical, or psychological kind) like to pretend the answer is more within their purview, with a revised, modern, and civilized reimagining of ghouls and demons dressed up as mental disorders and diseases. Jung tried to split the difference and call these imaginings archetypes. Maybe that's a more helpful way of looking at the problem. I'm not sure. I don’t consider myself to be a conspiracy theorist. I’m fully vaccinated, get my regular flu shots, and see my doctor on a fairly regular basis. I am beyond thankful for scientists who have made human advancements that enrich and save our lives. Nevertheless, as a general rule I distrust anyone who is certain about anything that involves everyone, with very little exception, and this mostly has to do with the fact that I used to be certain about most things. Now I think I’m only certain about maybe three things. First, I'm absolutely convinced that this phenomenon we call gravity is totally legit. I’m certain enough that I no longer question its validity! Second, I love myself, my life, my family, humanity as a whole, all sentient life, including the earth, sky, fire, and water that sustains us all. Third, I'm pretty certain that I don't know jack-shit about anything else that I often claim to be fairly certain about. If you’re a paying supporter of my work here, one of the benefits is that you get to call me out anytime you suspect I‘m claiming certainty on something I couldn’t possibly be certain about. I‘ll let you decide what that’s worth!

Regardless of why we fight our nature, one of the most beautiful things I’ve observed is that life always has a way of persevering. Human creativity cannot and will not be silenced. As hard as the human devised systems try to destroy us and tell us who we are, what we can create with our lives, and what we can create out of our lives, it never truly works. It may kill a person, but then life will just pop up somewhere else, literally because that person died. Life always comes back. So does death. They work together as companions, not competitors. I grew up in a time, place, culture, and religious system that tried to put an end to the soft, sensitive, and creative parts of me. Those parts are a whole lot of who I am, so this had cruel and devastatingly consequences in my life, some from which I may never recover. I’ve made peace with this because while they may have beaten me down they didn’t destroy me. I‘m not merely surviving, I am learning again and anew to be soft, sensitive, and creative because those things are inherent to my nature. These are the parts of me that had to go into hiding because the systems made it perfectly clear time and again, with both actions and words, that it was not safe to be myself in this cruel world. My best qualities may have been buried deep within but they are still mine to nurture back to life. Uncovering these creative parts of myself has been one of my greatest joys. I was told by two high school teachers, one in 11th grade and one in 12th, that I had a gift of writing. Better 35 years late than never!

We create to refine our craft

Better late than never begs the question: when exactly is late? Why does discovering in my early 50’s that I love to write and that I have a talent for it make it late? What if the phrase “late-bloomer” is just another term used to assuage our pain of not having unearthed and/or used our natural gifts when we were in our 20’s or 30’s? In every decade of my life I have felt behind in some fashion. Behind what or whom? See, we’re back to the cultural conditioning. Maybe everything is just right on time. But again, what do I know? Writing is such a huge part of my life now so I devote my time and energy to it for all of the reasons I’m laying out in this post. I also write to get better at it and I get to define what better means. I accept and choose to enjoy the challenge!

We create to connect with and inspire others

While so much of the creative process is deeply personal and private, and for many it stays there for lots of fantastic reasons, I think we also create in order to connect with like-minded and like-hearted people. So even if we never show our art to another living soul, there is something about creating that helps us feel less alone. Sometimes it’s as simple as imagining or knowing deep down that there is someone out there struggling with or excited about the same things I am. I think some of us can feel this without needing much feedback. I am someone who needs to read or hear the words “I see you, my friend.“ Having done quite a bit of work to love myself again, I’m needing much less validation in my creative work than ever before. Praise is rarely what I seek anymore. I desire thoughtful response to my work. Maybe its simply, “You’re essay resonated and helped me to feel seen. Thank you.” Or maybe it’s, “While I appreciate you sharing your perspective, my experience has been different. Here's why...” Either way this leads to a deeper conversation and potentially a deeper connection. I have a hunch this kind of connection may just be what helps us defeat rising authoritarianism and moves us into a more exciting and communal world.

In the end, each of us has our own unique and profound need to be seen and remembered. When it’s my turn to die, I want to know that what I created with, in, and out of my life made a difference to someone, somewhere. I hope it’s for the whole. This gets back to the principle of creating meaning from one’s life and creative work and not trying to obtain that meaning from others (and surely not trying to obtain one's worth from others), but we are still mirrors for each other, one and all. Sometimes hearing that our lives and work had an impact on someone can make all the difference to those of us putting ourselves out there in some courageous and innovative ways.

Inspiration is a powerful word for me. I think about it all the time. In order for me to express myself through words, I must sufficiently be either turned on or off by something or someone. That’s source material for me. The world is literally stranger than fiction to me, so I’m not usually drawn to fictional writing as such. But I don’t want to split hairs too much. As I see it, everything is fiction; made up stories by people, that give meaning to very real experiences by very real people. So when something inspires me positively or negatively, I want to write about it. I must write about it. I hope it inspires others too, if they are equally turned on or off by the subject matter, to not just feel the resonation but to express themselves in some form as well. The idea here is that creative expression begets creative expression, which again, does a number on all forms of authoritarianism, which is dogmatic, stale, oppressive, and boring. It is no match for a species armed with love and creativity.

We create to change and shape culture, and to express our sovereignty

One either submits to a culture or helps transform it. Every one of us is responsible for transmitting whichever we've decided upon. The latter are the total dreamers Kermit the Frog sang about in my youth. I am one of those dreamers. I write than I may do my part in helping to create the future than I can only steal a glimpse of in my dreams. My original title for this site was “Dreaming Out Loud.” I still like it but it didn’t seem to fit the critique side of my writing. Both that previous title and my current one, “When I Look at the World” are both taken from lines from two different U2 songs. So I figure I’m good either way! I have a rage against the machine that is so fierce, I have to channel it for love and justice in all kinds of creative ways. If I don’t use it creatively, I get frustrated and those whom I love most can easily be on the receiving end of that frustration via my words. Thankfully I've never been prone to physical violence (quite the opposite) and I don't cuss out loved ones but I can be creatively and carelessly cruel with my words if I'm not mindful.

My fight is against oppressive systems and wannabe rulers, who come in all shapes, sizes, genders, and costumes, not everyday people like me, who suppress, repress, and deny in order to survive the oppression. I see my creativity as service to the whole. We are in this together. I am one voice trying to do the best with what I’ve got so that I can continue loving my life and not be destroyed by the inner rage that burns white hot against the machinations that are designed to dehumanize us. Bono sings, “I don’t know if I can take it, I’m not easy on my knees.” That’s half of me. I create to express quite clearly that no one will ever completely own me; that I am sovereign. The other half of me writes for a better tomorrow. I don’t think I would write at all if I didn’t have some ounce of hope that a better future is out there for humanity… “the lovers, the dreamers, and me.”

We create in response to wonder

I paused for a moment to gaze out the window of my home dreaming office (this kind of dreaming is serious business, after all, and it requires a special kind of office). The eucalyptus trees are swaying in the wind as a rainstorm approaches. It’s dark outside. I have a candle burning. Loscil's almost-too-haunting, ambient music is my soundtrack. I am in awe and wonder at both the creative and destructive nature of life. This alone inspires me to tear down that which no longer serves and to create something new from the ashes. It sounds so cliche but it’s amazing what a little walk out in the sunshine or the rain can do for my body and spirit. Dancing to Taylor Swift or Bad Bunny with a glass of wine in hand, while cooking in my kitchen, can equally inspire me. I'm rarely disappointed when I take part in the dance of nature. I'm reminded that I too am nature, I too am the dance, and I fall in love with life once more. Then I am able to create once again, as nature always does. It’s an endless cycle. It moves me and I am grateful.

Some of us create to support ourselves materially

Lastly, some of us are such hopeful dreamers that all we want to do is the thing we love doing most. Especially those of us railing against the capitalist monstrosity that is seeking to devour us whole. It’s more than a romantic ideal for me. It’s about being authentic. Of course I can and will do what I need to in order to survive, but I feel so passionately that if I don’t actually do the thing I believe will help create a better future for me, my family, and humanity, then it’s just preaching. And I find preachers insufferable. That's probably because I preached for a living once. So that guy is still in here. Preaching feels hallow. It's usually propaganda. It almost always sucks. If your message is truly important, I better see a Greta Thunberg style of living to back it up. I'm talking to myself right now. I still believe that actions speak louder than words, which is a tricky thing for one aspiring to write for a living! So I’m making a conscious choice to live out my creative dream, boldly and bravely, through my words. I’m still enough of a dreamer to believe this dream may have my back: to support and sustain me financially. I don’t know if all of us need our creative work to support us this way. I’m close with people who seem content enough to work the job, find ways to use their creativity within it, and passionately create on their own with little or no need for credit or income. I’m not here to judge. I’m just keenly aware that this is not me.

Speaking of support and creative community, if you are paid member of this site, I appreciate you greatly and I would love to hear your thoughts and feelings in the comment section directly below concerning this whole idea of why humans create. What have I written here that resonates and why? What doesn't resonate and why? What do you think I‘ve missed?